17 Hillarious Responses to Unwanted Pregnant Belly Touching From Strangers!

OK, I know that being pregnant just seems to bring joy to everyone around you – but pregnant belly touching IS NOT A THING!!

With my first, I was honestly too wierded out by it to really say anything – pregnant or not, I think it’s weird to touch someone you don’t know!

With my twins though, I was MASSIVE! I think people were too weirded out BY ME to try.. although I did get alot of comments on my size!

Anyways, I thought I’d get a collection of comments from hillarious moms on the internet on AWESOME responses that will ensure said person never touches your belly again!

Don’t forget to check out a funny take on what Valentine’s as new parents looks like!!

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parenting humor for pregnant women with funny pregnancy memes for moms

“Wanna touch my butt too?”

If someone touches my belly, reaches for it, or asks to, I kindly with a big smile ask them if they would like to touch my ass too. That’s usually enough to make them think about what they are doing!

wanna touch my butt too how to avoid belly touching

Pat them back!

I am 7 months along and I HATE when strangers touch my tummy! If it happens (and it does frequently) I will reach out and rub or pat theirs just like they are doing to me! – Naomiesmom

rub person back who rubs your pregnant belly dont touch meme

Escalate the uncomfortableness!

When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, a man I didn’t know came up to me in the grocery store and without even saying a word to me, put his hands on my bump! My husband’s reaction was PRICELESS! Without saying a word, he reached out to the strange man and cupped the man’s privates! The man jumped back and said what do you think you are doing touching me! – Jaelyn75

See also
Fun Santa Craft for Kids - Peek A Boo Santa! [Free Printable]

State the facts!

“Do you know that’s connected to my vagina?” – Queen Me

Deny being pregnant

Number one question…”when are you due?” Look at them with a shocked face and say “um…I’m not pregnant” and walk away quickly. 

Chant wildly and pretend to absorb belly rubbers soul for baby’s benefit

I was once with a friend who had a woman grab her belly and my friend began to chant a funny sound. When the woman asked what she was doing my friend told her she was helping her baby to absorb the woman’s soul. You should have seen how fast she walked away. – MissOliviasMommy

pregnancy meme dont touch my belly

“Don’t touch if you didn’t put it here!”

I found a shirt that says “unless you put this baby in here, don’t even think about touching my stomach” I think I’m going to get one for every day of the week 🙂 – lijinaz

if you didnt put it here dont touch it funny pregnancy shirt for women
Let’s just be honest – DONT TOUCH IT!
funny pregnancy meme for moms pregnant belly

“At least buy me dinner first!”

“Hey, you know what? I don’t even know your name…at least buy me dinner first before you feel me up”. that seems to back people off. – hermy27

“Touch the belly, lose a hand!”

I also got this maternity shirt from Spencer’s that says “touch the belly, lose a hand!”. I consider it serious, but people think it’s funny. I think pregnant women should be allowed to have low electricity tazers lol. – eviscia666

funny shirt for pregnant women no you cant rub my belly
Answer the question and get to the point – no rubbing the belly!

Attack with gas!

Being a mom-to-be with all of the gassy side effects, I just let loose with an almighty belch anytime anyone I don’t know gets near my tummy. Of course, this embarrasses my husband to death, but I have found that attacking people with my bodily functions is an effective way to get them to back off. – mousepoet

See also
Alternating Breastmilk and Formula + Breastfeeding and Formula Schedule at 9 Months!

Yes, I have the body of a god, however, I am not Buddha!

One of my favorite responses to this problem is actually this: “Look sir/mam I am aware that I have the body of a god, but fortunately for me, that god is NOT Budha, so please do not rub my belly.” This usually works well, and gets a laugh. A win/win.

dont touch my pregant belly i am not buddah

“Leggo my preggo!”

I just say, “Hey, leggo my preggo!” Most people just laugh and remove their hands. I think it is a humorous and polite way to let people know you don’t want them to touch your belly.

Feel them up too!

At a family wedding, I had a complete stranger walk up and ask if she could touch my belly. I told her the penalty. She patted my belly after which I ‘felt up’ her right breast. She told me she thought I was joking, to which I replied, ‘You need to invest in better bras.’ No one touched me the rest of the evening.

“Feel the product of my lover’s seed!”

In order to prevent them from approaching in the first place I gyrate my hips suggestively and whisper “feel the product of my lover’s seed”. In addition to being very liberating I’ve found it has a very polarizing effect on the general public. -mapsrofekaf

Apply guilty stickers to offending belly rubbers!

Go home and make labels that say something to the effect of “I touch strange people’s bellys“. Whenever someone touches your belly grab one and slap it on their hand. You both get a laugh and they might just get the point…and so might other people around you.

P.S. Here are some other hillarious preggo shirts you (or your friend!) will think are funny too!

funny pregnancy dinosaur shirt
Pregosaurus for all the dino loving mamas out there!
funny pregnancy shirt mamacado
For the crunchy pregnant mama in your life who eats avocado toast every morning! =P
hoping for a dinosaur hillarious pregnancy tshirt
For all the inquiring minds who you don’t even know (or maybe you do!) who ask what you’re hoping for

Pin it and share if you laughed! <3 PLEASE leave in the comments something hilarious you said – I’d love to add it to the list!

I know there are some people who don’t mind.. but the vast majority of us don’t like random people touching us!

See also
5 Things to Know That Make Toddlers So Much Easier to Handle!

I’d love to hear your crazy stories in the comments!!

P.S. If you are actually pregnant, here are some real articles however that might help ya out!

parenting humor for pregnant women with funny pregnancy memes for moms

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