OK, I know that being pregnant just seems to bring joy to everyone around you – but pregnant belly touching IS NOT A THING!!
With my first, I was honestly too wierded out by it to really say anything – pregnant or not, I think it’s weird to touch someone you don’t know!
With my twins though, I was MASSIVE! I think people were too weirded out BY ME to try.. although I did get alot of comments on my size!
Anyways, I thought I’d get a collection of comments from
Don’t forget to check out a funny take on what Valentine’s as new parents
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“Wanna touch my butt too?”
If someone touches my belly, reaches for it, or asks to, I kindly with a big smile ask them if they would like to touch my ass too. That’s usually enough to make them think about what they are doing!
Pat them back!
I am 7 months along and I HATE when strangers touch my tummy! If it happens (and it does frequently) I will reach out and rub or pat theirs just like they are doing to me! – Naomiesmom
Escalate the uncomfortableness!
When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, a man I didn’t know came up to me in the grocery store and without even saying a word to me, put his hands on my bump! My husband’s reaction was PRICELESS! Without saying a word, he reached out to the strange man and cupped the man’s privates! The man jumped back and said what do you think you are doing touching me! – Jaelyn75
State the facts!
“Do you know that’s connected to my vagina?” – Queen Me
Deny being pregnant
Number one question…”when are you due?” Look at them with a shocked face and say “um…I’m not pregnant” and walk away quickly.
Chant wildly and pretend to absorb belly rubbers soul for baby’s benefit
I was once with a friend who had a woman grab her belly and my friend began to chant a funny sound. When the woman asked what she was doing my friend told her she was helping her baby to absorb the woman’s soul. You should have seen how fast she walked away. – MissOliviasMommy
“Don’t touch if you didn’t put it here!”
I found a shirt that says “unless you put this baby in here, don’t even think about touching my stomach” I think I’m going to get one for every day of the week 🙂 –
“At least buy me dinner first!”
“Hey, you know what? I don’t even know your name…at least buy me dinner first before you feel me up”. that seems to back people off. – hermy27
“Touch the belly, lose a hand!”
I also got this maternity shirt from Spencer’s that says “touch the belly, lose a hand!”. I consider it serious, but people think it’s funny. I think pregnant women should be allowed to have low electricity
Attack with gas!
Being a mom-to-be with all of the gassy side effects, I just let loose with an almighty belch anytime anyone I don’t know gets near my tummy. Of course, this embarrasses my husband to death, but I have found that attacking people with my bodily functions is an effective way to get them to back off. –
Yes, I have the body of a god, however, I am not Buddha!
One of my favorite responses to this problem is actually this: “Look sir/mam I am aware that I have the body of a god, but fortunately for me, that
“Leggo my preggo!”
I just say, “Hey, leggo my preggo!” Most people just laugh and remove their hands. I think it is a humorous and polite way to let people know you don’t want them to touch your belly.
Feel them up too!
At a family wedding, I had a complete stranger walk up and ask if she could
“Feel the product of my lover’s seed!”
In order to prevent them from approaching in the first
Apply guilty stickers to offending belly rubbers!
Go home and make labels that say something to the effect of “I touch strange people’s
P.S. Here are some other hillarious
Pin it and share if you laughed! <3 PLEASE leave in the comments something hilarious you said – I’d love to add it to the list!
I know there are some people who don’t mind.. but the vast majority of us don’t like random people touching us!
I’d love to hear your crazy stories in the comments!!
P.S. If you are actually pregnant, here are some real articles however that might help ya out!
- 17 pieces of advice about birth and babies that no one talks about, and
ips on how to make newborn life WAY easier - Check out these tried and tested baby sleep tips – EVERYONE is happier and less tantrum-y with more sleep!
- All the breastfeeding tips you’ll need (lactation cookies, pumping
and common problems) - If you have a toddler at home, check out fun ways to get them used to the new baby here!
- If you’re a SAHM, check out how to fight off mom guilt that is bound to happen, and habits to adapt to become happier despite the “groundhog day” feelings you sometimes get from being
mama !
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